A Boring Night

Alex is in Boston for the night helping his brother move, and tomorrow night I'll be in NoJo for my former roomie's bachelorette party. Alex is totally excited that his brother is moving back to Jersey, and I am totally stoaked (hehe I said "stoaked") about my friend's wedding and pre-celebrations, but. You know. The first two non-boy nights since we moved in together.

Anyway, I've decided to spend my night like I spend every other night: by ordering Chinese food and a movie OnDemand. I started with The Black Dahlia, but it turned out to be one of those movies that left me wanting to know the ending without actually watching the movie. I nixed it about halfway through, and now I'm catching up on the first two episodes of Survivor: China.

Also, I have been out and in approximately seventy gajillion times with the dog. I'd complain, but she is peeing outside instead of in the house, so... progress.

A Hill of Beans

I recently uploaded some pics from Kelly's wedding to my flickr* account. Today I noticed that a side profile, taken for the sole purpose of showing off my kickass updo, was tagged as a "favorite" by another user. Thinking that the other user probably had hair similar to mine and was looking for hair ideas for an event, I decided to check out her profile. Except in the profile, it's a he, not a she. Also? He belongs to a photo group called "Brunettes." I am kind of creeped out and thinking maybe he has a fetish. I am not sure I want to be part of a fetish, unless, you know, I know about it before hand and consent.

* For the love of god, why couldn't they have just added the e?!?!

*****

One of my favorite breakfasts is coffee and a banana. I don't know why I don't prefer a Danish or a scone, or a heaping pile of cream chipped beef on toast... Well actually, I would prefer any of those things... just after I eat the banana.

And speaking of coffee: I've been having issues.

I own two coffee makers. One is a little 4-cupper that I bought myself. Cuisinart. Not too expensive. Perfect for its purpose, which is to brew a small amount of regular ol' coffee so that I don't have half a pot of leftovers sitting on my counter getting stale all day.

My other is a Black & Decker Spacemaker 12-cup, which I was given as a very thoughtful housewarming gift when I moved into my apartment. I mounted it under the cabinets, a feature that I loved because my counter space was limited. It also made a decent cup of coffee when anyone other than myself was measuring out the grinds (apparently I lack skill in this area-- always too weak or too strong. I never get that perfect Little Bear "just right" cup of coffee. But I digress.)

The point is, neither of my precious coffee makers is currently working. The small one, which should take about 10 minutes to brew a full pot, takes about 30 minutes. And you know that gurgling sound you hear when the pot is forcing through the last few drops? Yeah, it sounds like that for the entire half hour. Also, the entire outside gets beads of water all over it.

My bigger pot has a similar problem with the beads of water, but minus the gurgling, plus the added bonus of the filter drawer popping out halfway through the brew cycle, causing all of the water to pool up in the filter basket and then flood over. Sidenote: coffee grinds are oddly difficult to clean up.

I thought maybe there was a clog somewhere. I have tried running a cycle of vinegar and water through the small pot. Twice actually, without success. Still with the gurgling and beading.

I guess my point to all of this (sorry to have made a short story long), is that I need a new coffee pot, and need suggestions. I am not picky about grinding the beans myself because I am currently being forced to drink instant, and preground beans are definitely better than that. I don't want to spend a ton of money, though I don't need the cheapest one either (unless it is freakishly the best), and I would not like anything that is too much of a monstrosity, as I am still limited in counter space.

Right now, I am really into the idea of a Keurig or something similar, because of the pre-measured pods and the lack of wasted cups. Though, I wonder if the cost of the pod is still cheaper than stopping at Wawa every morning? I guess it still is if I have no way to get enticed by a breakfast sandwich as well. Added bonus: Maybe my pants will fit.

What kind of coffee maker do you have? And do you love it?

*****

It never fails.

My students are usually pretty bad, but today they were even more fucking annoying deserving of a punch to the jawbone ornery than usual.

This just in from ABC News: Full moon tonight.

WARNING: NASTY BUG PICTURE BELOW!!!

Last night, I left Coconut outside for a little while, and while usually she just sits by the back door when she wants to come in, this time she was barking madly. I ran downstairs thinking that surely there was an intruder, and that this time she had decided to scare him away rather than roll over onto her back.

I ended up opening the door to her barking at THIS:



I know! What the?!?! When I started taking pics of it, it did this weird little bouncy up-and-down dance. Show off.

I checked whatsthatbug.com, but had no luck. It doesn't match any of the mantises listed, and I am clueless as to what else to check. All I know is, thank goodness for my noisy dog, or I might not have noticed it while opening the door, only to let it in with Coconut. *shudder*

*****

My boys walked out of my classroom singing "dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? dontcha!" That's where that whole comprehension defecit thing really becomes obvious...

The Little Things

I always get all annoyed when I'm building a taco, because after I add the meat, lettuce, tomato, and shredded cheddar, I have to take a bigger blob of sour cream than I actually want so that it has enough weight to plop onto the taco without me having to either scoop it off the spoon with my finger, or risk getting lettuce stuck all over the spoon.

Alex's Genius Solution to the Sour Cream on My Taco Problem: Spread the sour cream on the shell/tortilla before adding the other fixins.

*****

We're having some issues getting Coconut house trained. She won't poop in the house-- she'll bite you and whine and tug at your pants until you let her out. But the whole peeing thing seems to not be sinking in. Occasionally she'll sit by gate (at the top of the stairs to the outside) for a second, but if you don't notice her, or you're waiting for a commercial, she just finds a nice spot, like anywhere on the floor, and lets it out. It's not even like the pees are so huge that she must have had a whole bowl of water and then held it in forever. I mean, sometimes they are. But sometimes they are tiny little pees that make you question whether or not she just likes to watch you clean it up.

Do any of you use peepee pads for your dogs? I'd like to keep her in the kitchen when I'm at work, rather than in her crate, because it's a long time to go without peeing (I can't do it...), but whenever I put a pad down, we find her sleeping on it like it's a bed, and a puddle just a few feet away on the floor. She has a comfortable bed in there, too! I thought those things are supposed to have some kind of smell that makes dogs want to pee on them? Not my dog.

*****

Kid-Bit

While playing charades...

TantrumKid: acting out "Sawing" by pretending to hold a handle and moving his arm back and forth... you know... like he's sawing something...
ChowDownKid: SLICING LUNCH MEAT!!!

Typical.

Validated?

This is kind of embarassing to admit, but lately I can't keep myself away from the trainwreck that is Britney Spears. Stop looking at me like that! It's not like I want this!! I don't care about Paris or Lindsey (though I am way too excited about M-K's new role on Weeds...), but something about Britney just pulls me in every time. Okay. The secret is out. Please don't taunt me.

*****

The teacher who got four of my last-year students called me today to tell me that she doesn't know how I did it for an entire year, and that if something doesn't change soon, she is giving her 60-days and working at RopShite. Something about that call made me feel smug and oddly validated, as if my entire year of job-hating depression was not because I am not cut out to teach behavioral kids, but rather, because this particular group of behaviorals was fucking nuts. I know this was only the first full week of school, and I don't want to jinx things, but I already like this year so much better. I spend most of the day laughing (sometimes to myself, and sometimes out loud if I can't hold it in), and though I am exhausted at the end of the day, it is a certain satisfied exhaustion, rather than a frustrated, worn-out, down-in-the-dumps kind of exhaustion.

Not that I wasn't ready for the weekend.

*****

As I mentioned before, ChowDownKid likes to pick a random food daily and yell it out at various times during the day. He doesn't have Turrets or anything. He just likes food. Today's Special: "Sprinkle Cheese!!"

Shit-Faced

Coconut threw up a shit-loat (no pun intended) of rabbit turds last night. I'm not sure what to do about this. I spend most of my evenings being duped into taking her outside a million times, not so she can pee, but so she can shove her entire face into one of the many rabbit-holes peppering my backyard and feast on their bite-sized raisinettes. I swear I feed my dog-- her food has gravy in it, even! Why does she insist on supplementing her meals with that??

I'd like to get rid of the rabbits altogether, because I feel like fucking* Snow White when I go out back, with the squirrels and the cardinals and blue jays and jesus christ the only animal shit I want in my back yard belongs to my dog, damn it!

* this is an adjective, not a verb

*****

I woke up this morning to an empty bottle of Jim Beam** and a recording on my microwave (yes, our microwave has a voice recorder-- I know, weird) of some fumbling and a slurred "I love you." It's the little things.

** Since I'm not sure if Jim Beam is even a quality bourbon, I feel compelled to clarify that I bought it for a recipe (bourbon bread pudding!) last November because it was the smallest bottle of bourbon they had. It has been hanging around ever since. I didn't think I knew any bourbon drinkers to consume the rest.

Insult to Injury

After a summer of waking up, not late by some people's standards, but at a regularly swallowable 8 or 9, I am back to 6's. Our bedroom is still dark, Alex gets to stay in bed another 90 minutes, and to top it all off, the banner at the top of my iGoogle page still shows the little bugs snoozing in their sleeping bags. If the bugs aren't up yet, I sure as shit shouldn't be.

Also, I am having an extremely difficult time streamlining the puppy's morning routine. This morning: Wake up, Out to pee, In to eat while I make coffee, Out to poop but doesn't, In while I sit around blogging because I'm afraid that if I go upstairs to shower she will poop in the house. The whole ordeal has taken approximately 40 minutes of my morning thus far, and I absolutely refuse to wake up any earlier. Sidenote: She won't eat if she really has to go to the bathroom, so feeding her before Out to pee won't work. Any suggestions from you dog-owners out there?

P.S. In the time it has taken me to write this, the bugs have woken up, and one of them has apparently gone for a coffee-doughnut run, which they are happily consuming in front of a dawn-colored sky. And yes, maybe I should stop talking about the bugs like they are real... but they are cute... fo sho.