Vermin

The exterminator was just here (the association has him come out once a month) and he said that the huge cockroach I found dying in the corner of my bedroom last week was most likely not a cockroach, but a "waterbug." He blamed it on the torrential downpours we had just before I found it and told me how if you go to a certain local street, you could see thousands of them in the diner parking lot*. Anyway, I'm happy because that means I'm not a slob. Okay, Christine, I know you are "tsk-tsking" right now because you were in my apartment about a month ago and saw evidence to the contrary, but shuddup because it's clean here now and the bug guy said it wasn't a cockroach. And anyway, even if I am a slob, I am not a dirty slob whose nastiness caters to vermin. And I'd say that's some good news.

* Note to Self: Never, never go to that diner...


*****

I hate birds. I just find that whole flying-around-my-head-threatening-to-peck-my-eyes-out-and-
shitting-on-my-car thing very unappealing. Because I live in a semi-city environment, and in an apartment, I've seen my share of pigeons while living here. In fact, there is a nest of them on top of the window air conditioner across the ally from my bedroom, and on most mornings they wake me up if my noisy air purifier isn't on.

Anyway, just now, as I was typing this entry, I noticed water falling right in front of my window. I looked out, and saw that the stream of water was only coming from one spot, and that it looked kind of whitish. I went to the window and looked up, and I saw the ass of a pigeon shaking it's tail feather, drip-dropping its excess shit. Right onto my Welcome mat.

Welcome, indeed.

Away and Home

I spent Friday through Sunday in Florida. Ahhhh... 3 glorious days that included sun, the ocean, the "Largest Tiki Bar In Ft. Lauderdale!!!" and even a wedding. I finally got to meet TheBoy's two best friends (and I am still amazed that they are normal and non-frattish). Oh, and I came home with a sunburn that is so severe I cannot wear pants to work because ohgodThePain!!! I told my aide she is on her own if we have any major behavior problems, because although I enjoy a "take-down" every once in awhile, I'm not so confident I could do so in a skirt. See also: peeling skin in hair looking like nasty dandruff.

*****

They have taken the listing for OUR house off the real estate website, and although that means there is very little that can go wrong from here, and we'll be in the house a month from today, I miss watching the Virtual Tour and imagining all the rooms with my own paint colors and furniture. I paid the $5 to join Behr.com, because you can upload pictures of your room, and then use their paint tool to color in. So far, it is amazingly slow and frequently leads to browser shutdowns, but that could just be because my computer is now about 3-4 years old and therefore a senior citizen.

My landlord and I have been talking about getting together for drinks since I started renting the place, and it has just never happened. She emailed me last week so we could try again for a date, and I had to email her back a "yes, I'd love to hang out, and also will I still get my security deposit back if I break the lease?" type email. I feel really bad because I like her a lot. Almost to the point that I was just going to continue paying for the month I want to leave early, but I think Alex would have my head.

So, I haven't heard back from her yet, but that was just yesterday. Perhaps she had to go home and discuss it with her husband... Or maybe she needs time to figure out how to get away with the Perfect Murder. Either way, I am anxious.

Movin' Up!

Hey! So this?



It's the pool... AT OUR NEW HOUSE!!!!!!!!

I don't want to jinx anything, because closing isn't until the end of May, but YAY!!!

lksjfdhl;akshefouiasocbsaivbaibgva!!!!!!!!!

*****

Kid-Bit

Director of After-School Program: GremlinKid, what did you do on the bus last night?
GremlinKid: I didn't do nothin!
DASP: Oh really? Because I heard you said a bad word...
GremlinKid: No I didn't!
DASP: GremlinKid, be honest. Miss N. told me the kind of language you were using...
GremlinKid: What? I was using English!

E-V-Ut-Oh

Dear Rachael Ray,

I love you, despite the fact that most of the time I am watching your shows, I am getting red-faced over your self-embarrassing antics. I have your 7" knife with the orange handle, and I LOVE it. It cuts everything like butter and has a comfy cushy grip, and I kinda want the whole set...

But seriously, Rachael? You have your own "EVOO"????? I mean, I suppose this isn't much different than Emeril selling his own spice blends and marinades, but it kinda is, because it's olive oil and it's just one ingredient, and so it's not like your own secret recipe or something... or your own special premium olive trees, for that matter.

I propose you stick to 30-Minute Meals and cutlery.

Sincerely,
J, of the Frizz Chronicles

Sparks and Sushi

When I moved into Apartment, my mom gave me her old Panasonic vacuum, with the suggestion that I take it to the vaccuum and sewing machine repair place that is approximately one quarter of a mile from my apartment and have the belts replaced and the nasty pet-hair smell flushed out. I never did end up doing that, and since the smell was so horrific each time I vacuumed, I tended to do it... well... not so often.

Yesterday, when I flipped the switch to On, I was greeted with a loud, metallic exploding noise, like R2-D2 and Rosie had one too many shots of tequilla and decided to hump*. Whatever the noise actually was created sparks and a thin trail of smoke that raised up from where the cord goes into the machine. And then the whole thing just went dead.

I'm now trying to find a new vacuum, which I didn't realize would be such an expensive endeavour. I want one with a bag, since I've heard that the bagless variety aren't great for those with allergies, but damn, who wants to spend $300 on something you use to clean? Any suggestions for a good vaccum that isn't so expensive? Damn, this is boring and I am old.

* I fully realize this is the weirdest reference ever, but it's the first thing that came to my mind when I was trying to think of something to liken that sound to. I also fully really this makes me really fucking strange.

*****

Last weekend I went to NoJo, where Alison and Mike&Jay and I kicked off SushiFest2007. The whole ordeal kicked off at the Asian Food Center (familiarly called "AFC" by Mike). Have you ever wondered what it's like to be an ADD kid in a Chuck E. Cheese? If so, and you are someone who is not Asian, go to an AFC. Upon stepping into this store, I was greeted with so many bright colors, foodstuffs I had never heard of before (jellied redbeans? and people eat spiced chicken feet??), and packages with lables I could not read, that I just didn't know where to look. Searches for specific items like nori and edimame left me standing in the middle of an isle and turning in circles. After an hour or so, I found my self gazing through the windows into the gray, familiar parking lot to give my eyes and brain a rest.

It was totally worth it though, because, damn, did you know how cheap stuff is at an AFC? For about $40, you can buy enough food to feed 4-6 people to stuffed, while the same meal at a decent sushi restaurant would cost upwards of $100. And also? Rolling my own maki was SO FUN!! Jay was an excellent teacher, because surely I would have rolled the bamboo mat right into the rice had it not been for his instruction.

Other items on the menu, lovingly cooked by Anyonebutme:

• salted edimame
• tempura scallops and shrimp
• seafood and cabbage dumplings

Oh, and I made the dumpling sauce, because after looking at the ingredients on the bottle at the AFC, Alison wouldn't let me buy it, "Uh, you can make this yourself." It wasn't bad, but the bottled stuff probably would have been better.

I have added this cute sushi set to my Amazon wishlist, because although I loved making my own sushi, I probably would not do it just for myself. This set is for 4 people, so it will give me an excuse to invite the 3 of them down here for another go!