It Never Ends

Okay, so I was awakened by the doorbell at 10 o'clock yesterday morning, and I'm pretty sure it was the exterminator (a service covered by the association fee, I imagine, since I've never paid for it), and I was too embarassed by the disgusting state of my apartment to let him in. I was too embarassed by dirtyness that might attract bugs to let in a guy to keep bugs out!!!

This is where Mom To The Rescue happened.

A quick call to Mom, and I had a free take-out lunch and someone in my apartment to go through my piles and piles and piles of mail and papers while supervising a kitchen-living room straightening.

This got me on a roll (with mayo and pickles, har har) and I went crazy. I dusted ceiling fan blades, I pulled the knobs off the stove to wipe behind them, I vacuumed the couch cushins! Then, I went to Target and spent about $200* on sundry items to help the cause-- bins to contain the things under my kitchen and bathroom counters, a broom because although the Swiffer is good in the bathroom, it ain't no match for the kitchen floor's crumbs-- and that's actually only about $20 worth of apartmenty cleaning things. The rest of the $200 was on other stuff... a rainjacket, a flexible turner, some black shoes for work, a bedside lamp to match the one I have... whatever. The point is, I went to Target to get cleaning stuff, and when I got it home, I used it!

On the agenda for today: vacuum rug, wash floor, laundry.

Heh. Yeah right.

* Have you ever gone into a Target and spent less than $200? That tends to be my average, even if I just walked in for toilet paper...

The Apple to the Proverbial Tree

And the winner of the Least Appropriate Thing To Say To Your Child's Teacher During Conferences Award:

*drumroll*

SWNSS's Mom: I told my husband, "What the hell other woman do you think you could find who would clean your house, take care of your kids, AND give you ass at night?!"

Honorable Mentions

GremlinKid's Mom: Family Services are like the IRS-- Once they're in your life, they never leave you alone!

GremlinKid's Dad: I don't want him bullied. That's how shit gets started, and then before you know it, you snap and you're throwing a chair at some kid and his arm breaks. At least, that's what I did when I was a kid.

Spring Fever

I'm not exactly sure if Spring Fever refers to being indoors during the winter freezes and longing for warmer weather, or if it means that once it starts to get warm people get the urge to clean (or is that the point of the phrase "spring cleaning?") and hump like bunnies, but today's 50º weather allowed me to open the windows and air out my apartment and I actually did do some cleaning, and if truth be told, Alex is coming over soon and I could go for some... uh, well nevermind.

*****

I decided to purge my fridge of leftovers and old food last night, and once again, I filled up two tall kitchen trash bags with something like 5 styrofoam containers, 3 half-filled cartons of milk, bags and bags of brown, yet pre-washed, pre-cut vegetables, etc., etc. When the only thing left in there was a few beers and the lightbulb, I figured it was time to go grocery shopping.

This week I am going to cook a couple meals and store them portioned in containers so that when I come home from work, all I have to do is pop them in the microwave. I'm hoping this will contribute to my Weight Watchers efforts.

Sidenote: This would be the fourth time in my life that I've joined, not including times I've attempted to count Points while not paying out the ass for meetings. See also: South Beach Diet, Atkins Diet, Just Eat Sensibly Diet. And also: A diet book that had an ad in Teen Magazine, for which my 13-year-old self sent $12 in cash and quarters with the ripped-out orderform. Basically, it told you to douse half of every meal with salt until it was inedible, thereby cutting down your calorie consumption.

I'm trying a weird-looking but easy recipe, and I'll let you know how it goes. I like chicken, and I like ketchup, and I like diet Coke... and those are the only 3 ingredients. Like I said, weird but easy.

*****

A makeup heads-up: I bought Cover Girl LashExact mascara today and I looove it. I used to use Maybelline Full 'n Soft, which I also loved, but I recently read an article in Cosmo that suggested wiping your mascara brush on a tissue instead of on the side of the tube, and so I gave it a try and really liked the results. My lashes weren't totally full, but that's okay because they looked long and un-clumpy and fresh. The LashExact gives me the same turn-out, but because of its weird rubbery brush, I don't even have to wipe it at all, and I get that same look. I suppose if you want more volume, you can try the VolumeExact, but I stuck with the regular Lash Exact because it was 50% off and I NEEDED to save that $3.

*****

I recently rediscovered my U2: The Best of 1980-1990 CD, and can't stop listening. I don't think I appreciated it fully when I bought it (a friend convinced me to make the purchase a few years ago), but I'm all about it now.

*****

Remember my New Years Resolution to read a book a month? Yeah... I've been reading the book Perfume: The Story of a Murderer since the second week in January. I just can't seem to get through it, which is a shame because it's a good story. This is an embarassing confession, but I think it has too many words. Perhaps I should try it again during spring break when I don't have so much thinking to do, and switch to something more fluffy for now.

*****

I totally know the difference between it's and its, your and you're, and who's and whose, but sometimes when I'm typing out my blog entries I fail to pick the correct one. That's annoying.

Sour Grapes

Alex just got back from a trip to Florida that he won through Workplace. When he first left, I was a little jealous because I couldn't miss 4 days of work to go with him, despite the fact that it would have been payed for. Then he called me to tell me how awesome his room was and how he spent a day playing golf. I'm all for awesome hotel rooms, but really, how much time do you spend in the room? And I don't play golf, so whatever. Not a crisis. The next day, he called to tell me that when he came back to his room after another day of golf and a massage (a slight tinge of green here), there was a Lobstergram gift certificate waiting for him in his room. Still- not totally jealous because I'll be eating half that meal, if not more because TheBoy is not a fan of seafood. And he said we can get it for our first dinner in our new place when we eventually move in together. Sweet.

So then on his final night, I give him a call around 10:30 because I'm ready to go to sleep, and he answers and I hear all this noise in the background and all I can hear is him yelling, "I just had the most amazing dinner ever! I'm getting ready to go out with some guys! I'll talk to you later!"

Pft. Well, at least he was having a good time, even if I was feeling somewhat forgotten. (Jess? Who is Jess?)

And THEN I go to pick him up at the airport, and he comes out of the terminal with a tan in March, gloating about the 20" flat panel TV that is going to be sent to his house courtesy of Workplace, and that amazing dinner he had and how it was like 10 courses and included a cotton candy machine on every table, and how he ended up at a Victoria's Secret fashion show after-party where he met Nick Cannon and spilled his drink on Mario Andretti, and did I mention He Had a Tan in March?!

But I'm not jealous.

*****

Kid-Bit

Somehow got onto the discussion of Jessica being a girl's name but Jesse being a boy's, eventhough you can also call a girl Jessie. With an i-e.

SWNSS: Did anyone ever call YOU Jesse?
Me: Only my 5th grade teacher, but she spelled it with an i-e.
SWNSS (who, let me remind you, is 8): SHE CALLED YOU JESSE!!! YOU'RE A SHIM!!!!!