The Apple to the Proverbial Tree

And the winner of the Least Appropriate Thing To Say To Your Child's Teacher During Conferences Award:

*drumroll*

SWNSS's Mom: I told my husband, "What the hell other woman do you think you could find who would clean your house, take care of your kids, AND give you ass at night?!"

Honorable Mentions

GremlinKid's Mom: Family Services are like the IRS-- Once they're in your life, they never leave you alone!

GremlinKid's Dad: I don't want him bullied. That's how shit gets started, and then before you know it, you snap and you're throwing a chair at some kid and his arm breaks. At least, that's what I did when I was a kid.