Tasting
I've mentioned my feelings about cooking before. I don't mind doing it, but I don't love it either. This is mostly because of the clean-up factor and because I've never cooked anything that tasted better than something I could get in a restaurant (which has the added bonus of me getting served and not having to do dishes).
Anyway, I'm not a terrible cook, but I always seems to have minor issues along the way. I would like to submit the two most recent to you for further evidence that I should not bother cooking.
Reason the First: I decided to create my own risotto recipe last night. I melted some butter in the pan, added garlic and parsley, and toasted the arborio. Then, I went to add a splash of red wine, except I wasn't expecting the loud sizzle that was created when the wine hit the pan, and so it scared me and I jumped and I spilled a ton of wine into the rice and all over my stovetop. The risotto ended up coming out Just Okay.
Reason the Second: The night before, I hosted a Tastefully Simple party. (Yes, Christine you are right-- I have become total suburban housewife. Whatever. Free stuff.) All the recipes are simple enough, and the Banana Rum Cheese Ball was something easy like, "Add cream cheese to Packet 1. Stir until blended. Chill. Roll into ball. Roll ball into contents of Packet 2." Nothing about it except cutting the block of cream cheese required any measurement or anything! But you see, I made another recipe in the bowl before the Banana Ball, and so after I washed it out, I forgot to dry it, and then when I tried to mix the cream cheese with the flavoring packet, the mix came out all clumpy and gooey, and refrigerating it never really made it harden, and instead of a Banana Rum Cheese Ball, I made a Banana Rum Cheese Blob. It still tasted the same.
See? Minor catastrophes, I suppose, but I would be SO into a personal chef.
*****
There are two guys here setting up Alex's pool table today. I offered them coffee, and one guy asked for black, which is easy, but the other guy asked for "light and sweet," and since I usually use Splenda, not sugar, I wasn't sure how sweet was sweet and how light was light, and so after I made his coffee, I tasted it. I tasted his coffee from the cup I used to serve it in. To the pool table guy. I tasted the pool table guy's coffee right from his cup. And then I gave it to him with my germs on it. I tried not to backwash.
Anyway, I'm not a terrible cook, but I always seems to have minor issues along the way. I would like to submit the two most recent to you for further evidence that I should not bother cooking.
Reason the First: I decided to create my own risotto recipe last night. I melted some butter in the pan, added garlic and parsley, and toasted the arborio. Then, I went to add a splash of red wine, except I wasn't expecting the loud sizzle that was created when the wine hit the pan, and so it scared me and I jumped and I spilled a ton of wine into the rice and all over my stovetop. The risotto ended up coming out Just Okay.
Reason the Second: The night before, I hosted a Tastefully Simple party. (Yes, Christine you are right-- I have become total suburban housewife. Whatever. Free stuff.) All the recipes are simple enough, and the Banana Rum Cheese Ball was something easy like, "Add cream cheese to Packet 1. Stir until blended. Chill. Roll into ball. Roll ball into contents of Packet 2." Nothing about it except cutting the block of cream cheese required any measurement or anything! But you see, I made another recipe in the bowl before the Banana Ball, and so after I washed it out, I forgot to dry it, and then when I tried to mix the cream cheese with the flavoring packet, the mix came out all clumpy and gooey, and refrigerating it never really made it harden, and instead of a Banana Rum Cheese Ball, I made a Banana Rum Cheese Blob. It still tasted the same.
See? Minor catastrophes, I suppose, but I would be SO into a personal chef.
*****
There are two guys here setting up Alex's pool table today. I offered them coffee, and one guy asked for black, which is easy, but the other guy asked for "light and sweet," and since I usually use Splenda, not sugar, I wasn't sure how sweet was sweet and how light was light, and so after I made his coffee, I tasted it. I tasted his coffee from the cup I used to serve it in. To the pool table guy. I tasted the pool table guy's coffee right from his cup. And then I gave it to him with my germs on it. I tried not to backwash.
posted by Jess at 10:32 AM
3 Comments:
HA on sharing the cooties with the pool table guy.
And I bet your food is just fine.
Although, holy cow, some of your guests were way into Tastefully Simple.
HA! That is hysterical that you tasted the pool table guy's coffee out of the same cup. Awesome. What the hell is Tastefully Simple? And why, pray tell, was I not invited? (Hmm. Could it be because we have only met once?)
HA! (original response, i see, but genuine nonetheless). That's hilarious, i love it! I'm sure it only added to the delicious-ness of the coffee.
Oh, and even though we are practically twins (i don't mind cooking, but don't like the clean up), apparently i take too long to cook (i should be studying instead) so my dear husband cooks all the time. You should try it! I bet Alex is a fantastic cook. :)
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