Street Smarts
I usually consider myself to be a pretty smart girl when it comes to the streets... you know... in a "walk quickly like you know where you are going, and make sure you are aware of who is behind you" kinda way. So why is it that when I am by myself and waiting for the train at 3 in the morning, I seem to look so approachable that random people (and specifically last night, random old men) want to talk to me? And along those lines... why do I tell them things about myself?
For example.
"What were you doing tonight?" Okay, this question doesn't seem too dangerous to answer, as I am no longer hanging out with my friend at a bar, so you can't stalk me.
"Oh, okay. I know where that place is. Where do you get off the train?" Well now we've already begun a conversation... and I mean, I'm just getting off the train there. Who cares if you could get off at the same stop and follow me to my car. You could do that anyway, just by seeing where I get off the train. So I might as well tell you.
"Oh! I'm buying a house in that town. It's a great place!" Well, now you've got me. Because the town that I take the train from happens to also be the town where I want to move, when I stop living with Parents. I have to talk about how cute it is, and how I like the restaurants and little shops and the fact that I could walk to the train station and wouldn't have to worry about drinking too much when I am in the city because I have to drive 20 minutes home after I get off the train. Plus, it's closer to work.
"Ah... where do you work?" Why do I make conversation with Random Old Guy that leads into more conversation with Random Old Guy? But anyway, I'm a teacher in Nearby Town.
"Nearby Town? Right next to Most Dangerous City in the Country?" Yup. That's the one.
"Do you also live in Nearby Town?" Oh, no. I live in Further Down the Highway Town. Oops! Why couldn't I just stop at No? Because now you know where I am getting off the train, the town where I work, the town where I live now, the town where I am going to be living... oh, and while we're at it, why don't I tell you...
"Do you have a boyfriend?" To lie, or not to lie? I'm a regular George Washington*. Nope, no boyfriend. At this point I realize that I had better fix this, because no, Random Old Guy, I do not want you to ask for my number. Um, but there's someone on deck.
"Did you put him on deck, or did he put you on deck?" Oh, I put him on deck. I'm quite choosy, so there is no point in asking for my number.
Annnnd here is the train, so I will now get on and sit in the very front seat where there are people in all of the surrounding seats so you can't sit next to me and keep talking. And I will take my keys out of my purse before I get off the train and make sure that I am holding them so they stick out through my fingers so that if you try anything I can claw at your face.
Because I'm street smart like that.
*I'm not sure how much of the BS part of American history they teach in other countries, but in America, we learn stories like how our first president cut down his father's cherry tree, and then fessed up to it, saying, "I cannot tell a lie." He obviously set a great example for all the honest politicians to follow.
For example.
"What were you doing tonight?" Okay, this question doesn't seem too dangerous to answer, as I am no longer hanging out with my friend at a bar, so you can't stalk me.
"Oh, okay. I know where that place is. Where do you get off the train?" Well now we've already begun a conversation... and I mean, I'm just getting off the train there. Who cares if you could get off at the same stop and follow me to my car. You could do that anyway, just by seeing where I get off the train. So I might as well tell you.
"Oh! I'm buying a house in that town. It's a great place!" Well, now you've got me. Because the town that I take the train from happens to also be the town where I want to move, when I stop living with Parents. I have to talk about how cute it is, and how I like the restaurants and little shops and the fact that I could walk to the train station and wouldn't have to worry about drinking too much when I am in the city because I have to drive 20 minutes home after I get off the train. Plus, it's closer to work.
"Ah... where do you work?" Why do I make conversation with Random Old Guy that leads into more conversation with Random Old Guy? But anyway, I'm a teacher in Nearby Town.
"Nearby Town? Right next to Most Dangerous City in the Country?" Yup. That's the one.
"Do you also live in Nearby Town?" Oh, no. I live in Further Down the Highway Town. Oops! Why couldn't I just stop at No? Because now you know where I am getting off the train, the town where I work, the town where I live now, the town where I am going to be living... oh, and while we're at it, why don't I tell you...
"Do you have a boyfriend?" To lie, or not to lie? I'm a regular George Washington*. Nope, no boyfriend. At this point I realize that I had better fix this, because no, Random Old Guy, I do not want you to ask for my number. Um, but there's someone on deck.
"Did you put him on deck, or did he put you on deck?" Oh, I put him on deck. I'm quite choosy, so there is no point in asking for my number.
Annnnd here is the train, so I will now get on and sit in the very front seat where there are people in all of the surrounding seats so you can't sit next to me and keep talking. And I will take my keys out of my purse before I get off the train and make sure that I am holding them so they stick out through my fingers so that if you try anything I can claw at your face.
Because I'm street smart like that.
*I'm not sure how much of the BS part of American history they teach in other countries, but in America, we learn stories like how our first president cut down his father's cherry tree, and then fessed up to it, saying, "I cannot tell a lie." He obviously set a great example for all the honest politicians to follow.
posted by Jess at 1:02 PM
3 Comments:
Ummmm....we do not talk to strangers.
Your elementary school DARE representative would be so disappointed.
It's true. I suck at being unfriendly and aloof! But with the way I drive, I am awesome at not being followed...
bwahaha... i'm glad you lived to blog about your adventure. i totally do the keys-through-the-fingers-strategy. it makes me feel invincible, even if it really doesn't make any difference.
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