My Car is Cursed

So I haven't been blogging long enough to do a fancy list of exhibits like Anika did, complete with links, but I do have a pretty hefty set of evidence* that my car is cursed, by way of my own, unblogged experience.

• Exhibit A: While driving on the Parkway, I was hit from behind while slowing up for a toll booth. The driver claimed I slammed on my brake... which would have been pretty rediculous to do, considering all the traffic and the fact that I couldn't move fast enough to even require a brake. (Not my fault.)
• Exhibit B: While I was in Florida, my dad was driving my car, and someone stopped to make a left hand turn where you can't make a left hand turn, and my dad likes to tailgate (though he denies it) and he hit the guy. (Not my fault.)
• Exhibit C: AcrossTheStreetNeighbor backed out of her driveway, right into my car. She said she didn't see my car and that it was parked too far from the curb. I maintain that with the 2 feet of snow on the ground, I couldn't get any closer to the curb, and that my bright blue car should have stood out just fine when it was completely surrounded by white. (Not my fault.)
• Exhibit D: DiagonallyToTheRightNeighbor wakes me up in the middle of the night to tell me she saw a big, dark SUV hit my car and keep going. We called the police. They played CSI: Cinnaminson for a little. Turned out to be a neighbor down the street who was driving home drunk from a bar, where he went after a fight with his wife. He was very honest about this in the police report when he turned himself in the next day, when he was no longer drunk. Very noble of him. (Not my fault.)
• Exhibit E: This very morning, DiagonallyToTheRightNeighbor (who is starting to remind me of that neighbor on Bewitched who was always staring out her window) called to tell us that last night, someone dropping off one of AcrossTheStreetNeighbor's kids backed into my car while pulling out of the driveway, and kept going.

Now, I'm gonna go with a (Not my fault.) on this one too... but my neighbor apparently thinks differently.

When my dad went across to ask who has a dark SUV, ATSNeighbor claimed not to know, and said, "I asked her not to park there anymore." Yeah hi. How is this my fault? I am parked on the street, in front of my house. And, oh, I just checked-- you also have two cars parked on the street in front of your house. Funny how we look where we are going when we pull out of our driveway. It's really quite useful. You should try it. Helps you not to hit stuff.

In any case, CSI: Cinnaminson will be on the job again, because if they don't get back to us by the end of the day with a phone number and address of whoever dropped off their kid last night, we'll be calling the police. Sucks for that person, because there is no way I am paying my own $500 deductable, especially when I have holiday gifts to buy.

In the meantime, I'll be driving this:

* Christine, please feel free to correct this sentence into some fancy-schmancy lawish sentence... because this probably isn't even evidence and those probably aren't even exhibits.