New Year's Revolution

In the past, I have not kept my resolutions. Sure... just like Everyoneelse, I start out strong... for maybe two weeks... and then it's back to old habits and patterns and the next year turns out just like the previous year when it comes to anything I can control myself. This year, I'm trying a little reverse psychology. That way, I can spend the first fourteen days of January being exactly who I am now, and then spend the rest of it trying to change the things about me that I feel need to be... well... resolved. So here goes...

In 2006, I will NOT, nomatterhowhardItryandyoucan'tmakeme:

• lose weight (or "get healthy," as some of you might pretend that is the real reason for eating better foods and exercising, and not the fact that you want your ass to look better in jeans)
• talk less about myself and listen more about others (in other words, I will always make sure to turn any comment made by any person into something about myself, and be sure to always respond to people with, "That reminds me of the time I..." and "Oh yeah, that happened to me once and..."
• do my capstone project by May so that I can really actually get my reallyreal pieceofpaper Master's degree
• stop living with my parents (because, really, what is more attractive and admirable than a 25-year-old living with Mom and Dad?)
• like guys with whom I am compatible and who show an interest in me, but rather, I will choose the ones who keep me guessing as to their feelings for me and I will make sure to turn into Crazy Girl while trying to be aloof and pretend like I don't care, except for when I reveal my Actual Caring Feelings to my IIFs (that made no sense, but just go with me here)

If any of you catch me actually doing these things, please stage some type of intervention.

Hope you all party like it's 1999*! Have a happy and healthy 2006!

* except without the impending doom of Y2K.