Drunk Post... Yes!!!

BLAST it being 1am and me having too much to drink (1 bottle of wine + 1 glass of wine = 1/2 bottle and 1 glass of wine too many for Jess). I am spinning, yet not even trying to sleep, and also am downing many glasses of water and crunching on lots of ice. I like eating ice. I know it means something about me-- what of it? Currently also watching Fletch. Don't think I've ever seen it before, but right now Chevy Chase is prancing around a hospital calling himself Dr. Rosenpenis and checking out some dead guy's spleen. What is a spleen anyway? I'm sure I don't know. Also: something about smelling salts, which I have never smelled but am quite curious about. Note: Extra's white shorts entirely too short. The year 1985 NOT AN EXCUSE!

The topic of short shorts made me remember when I was in 7th grade and went to the library with my friend to work on a project. There was some guy there, camped out in the children's section where we were working, playing with himself. He played with himself under the table. He walked past us with his dong hanging out of his too-short running shorts, and he walked over to the card catalogue right next to me with his shit hanging over the top of his shorts. At the time, my friend and I were too embarassed about the whole thing to tell anyone. We instead wrote a letter about it describing the guy and dropped it on the librarian's desk. Now, I'd be all, "EWWW!! PERRRV!" I wish I had done that at the time.

I dont know what that story had to do with anything, but I am drunk. Excuse me.