Something out of the ordinary...

So yeah... I have off work today because of New Jersey Teacher Convention (and no, I didn't go to the convention)... and so I went to the gym this morning, met with my trainer, came home, straightened up my room, started my laundry, laid on my bed and watched reality TV for a little bit. All around, a pretty boring yet relaxing day off.

And then I looked out the window and saw this (Warning: not for feint at heart!):



And in case you're all, "Say whaaaaa? Is that a..." and are trying to lean in for a closer look to see if that is indeed what you think it is...

It is.

Here is the closeup:



Yes, my friends. That is a dildo on my windshield. A huge. Long. Girthy. Veiny. Dildo.

Now I have a couple suspicions.

• It could be one of my friends, realizing that I haven't laid eyes on anything remotely resembling this specimine in quite awhile, and trying to help me out... Except that the thing was all dirty and covered in little bits of soil and mulch... so that wouldn't really be much help. It would have been much more useful to me if still in its original, unopened package. Heh heh. Package.
• It could be my IIF's, who arranged for someone they secretly know in Cinnaminson to drop it off, except there was no note attached that said, "Mighty big wanker, eh?" So I don't think that's it.
• It could be the teenage boys across the street. I had a long-term sub job in my old high school two years ago, and my neighbor was in my homeroom. I saw him and some of his friends (also possibly boys who I subbed for) outside skating earlier... You know those skater types... Whippersnappers.

After that, I'm all out of ideas...

Anyone with evidence leading to the capture and/or conviction of whoever put that treat on my car will be rewarded hansomly (i.e. I will buy you a drink for making my day day THAT much funnier)!!