Drunk Postulates?
So last night Christine and I went out, which was really cool because I finally got to meet one of my three blog-readers and his girlfriend, and we got to go to one of my favorite little bars in Philly (Good Dog), and basically I just had a really nice time. However, there are two events (blogpertunities, if you will) (I am determined to use that word enough for it to eventually make it into Webster's.) that struck me as kind of odd...
The first one happened after Good Dog, when we went to FadĪ (which I had totally been to before, and didn't even know). (Ha! I'm a poet and didn't know it!) (Again, you probably don't know whether to laugh or be embarassed that you know me.) Christine and I are just standing around, drinking some beers and watching some really drunk boys make fools of themselves dancing. And while we are standing there, one of the drunk dancers' friends walked up to me and flicked my neck! He just looked at me, took like two steps, put his arm out, and... FLICK! Right where my Adam's apple would be, if I also had a penis. And it hurt!! And he kind of smirked, and then continued to ignore me! The whole thing was very strange. So then, Christine and I go up to the bar, because I need another beer, and this guy is there, and he's wasted, and he buys us our drinks (one thing I do like about drunk guys) and introduces himself, and is like, "Come over here I want you to meet my friends." Okay. So we go over, and they happen to be the same group of drunk guys we had been laughing at already, including The Flicker. So he introduces me to The Flicker, and I'm like, "Hey! Your friend flicked me!" And I gave him The Hand (because my fingers are too short for giving the finger to be effective), and decided he was dead to me. Except then The Flicker offered to buy shots for Christine and Me. So we go to the bar, and he is appalled that it takes me 4 gulps to get my shot down (and that I put the glass down while there was actually a gulp still left in it), (Hey! They were big shots!!) (And I have a small mouth, but that's besides the point.) and I yell at him for flicking me, and he claims it was a love tap. So we go back, but ultimately, nothing is really happening, the DJ is finishing up, the bar's about to close, and we decide to go catch the train home.
Which brings me to blogpertunity #2 (hehehe). We get on the train, and we're just chillin' there because it's the last stop, so the train sits for like 15 minutes before it starts going in the other direction. And so this very, very intoxicated guy just staggers down the isle and plops down right in the seats in front of us. And turns around. And begins a conversation. Now, I can't be sure of most of what he said, because his words were so slurred together, but some of the key things I got out of the conversation included: He works at a place called Snyder, He thinks he is a loser, He does something with personal theorems and postulates (at which point I told him the only theorem I know is the Pythagorean Theorem... he seemed kind of impressed...), and something about Star Wars which I never really got the significance of. And meanwhile, Christine is sending me text messages about him, and we are really just amused. Until he reaches out and sticks his hand all on Christine's head, and she's all "There is no need to touch," and he almost starts to cry over the fact that he may have offended her. And then she asks him if he gets this drunk all the time, and he said only about once a month, and she makes a deal that in exactly 1 month from last night at 1:50a.m., they will meet again on that train. It's kind of a shame that he won't remember, because that dude was amusing. We let him know when his stop came up, and we got off at the next one, and Christine drove us back to her house, where my car was, and I thanked her for a lovely evening and tried to put the moves on her, but she wouldn't invite me inside for "coffee." (Just kidding.)
The first one happened after Good Dog, when we went to FadĪ (which I had totally been to before, and didn't even know). (Ha! I'm a poet and didn't know it!) (Again, you probably don't know whether to laugh or be embarassed that you know me.) Christine and I are just standing around, drinking some beers and watching some really drunk boys make fools of themselves dancing. And while we are standing there, one of the drunk dancers' friends walked up to me and flicked my neck! He just looked at me, took like two steps, put his arm out, and... FLICK! Right where my Adam's apple would be, if I also had a penis. And it hurt!! And he kind of smirked, and then continued to ignore me! The whole thing was very strange. So then, Christine and I go up to the bar, because I need another beer, and this guy is there, and he's wasted, and he buys us our drinks (one thing I do like about drunk guys) and introduces himself, and is like, "Come over here I want you to meet my friends." Okay. So we go over, and they happen to be the same group of drunk guys we had been laughing at already, including The Flicker. So he introduces me to The Flicker, and I'm like, "Hey! Your friend flicked me!" And I gave him The Hand (because my fingers are too short for giving the finger to be effective), and decided he was dead to me. Except then The Flicker offered to buy shots for Christine and Me. So we go to the bar, and he is appalled that it takes me 4 gulps to get my shot down (and that I put the glass down while there was actually a gulp still left in it), (Hey! They were big shots!!) (And I have a small mouth, but that's besides the point.) and I yell at him for flicking me, and he claims it was a love tap. So we go back, but ultimately, nothing is really happening, the DJ is finishing up, the bar's about to close, and we decide to go catch the train home.
Which brings me to blogpertunity #2 (hehehe). We get on the train, and we're just chillin' there because it's the last stop, so the train sits for like 15 minutes before it starts going in the other direction. And so this very, very intoxicated guy just staggers down the isle and plops down right in the seats in front of us. And turns around. And begins a conversation. Now, I can't be sure of most of what he said, because his words were so slurred together, but some of the key things I got out of the conversation included: He works at a place called Snyder, He thinks he is a loser, He does something with personal theorems and postulates (at which point I told him the only theorem I know is the Pythagorean Theorem... he seemed kind of impressed...), and something about Star Wars which I never really got the significance of. And meanwhile, Christine is sending me text messages about him, and we are really just amused. Until he reaches out and sticks his hand all on Christine's head, and she's all "There is no need to touch," and he almost starts to cry over the fact that he may have offended her. And then she asks him if he gets this drunk all the time, and he said only about once a month, and she makes a deal that in exactly 1 month from last night at 1:50a.m., they will meet again on that train. It's kind of a shame that he won't remember, because that dude was amusing. We let him know when his stop came up, and we got off at the next one, and Christine drove us back to her house, where my car was, and I thanked her for a lovely evening and tried to put the moves on her, but she wouldn't invite me inside for "coffee." (Just kidding.)
posted by Jess at 10:28 AM
1 Comments:
Ok Snyder, Go!
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